Just in case anyone wonders!

I got to thinking that I left our story without letting you guys know how much I've fully recovered. I now only have a tiny bit of tumor left and was cleared for a year... I go back in April of 2010 for another MRI. I also have almost all of my facial movement back. I have just enough paralysis left to remind me of how good God has been to me.

I want to post a current picture so you can see the change. (We'll see if I can figure it out ;0) Anyway .... just didn't want to close the book on our story without telling you how well I'm doing. I sure am thankful to be alive and each day is a beautiful blessing. It's a lot easier to "not sweat the small stuff"... brain surgery puts things in perspective really quickly. Love, Tracy

I Made It!!!!

I made it to Christopher's wedding - I WALKED down the aisle and stayed up late!!! (stayed until 9:30pm!!!) Just thought if anyone is still checking they'd like to know that it was an incredible night watching my oldest marry his sweetheart. God is so GOOD. Thank you, Lord.
I will try to get Jeff to post a picture from the wedding later.

End of the Road

Well... never thought I'd be a blogger but stranger things have happened (esp. in the last few months!!)I am on the mend and don't want to continue boring you with little details so this will be my last blog. I still look forward to your visits and phone calls though!!

I have been overwhelmed with the love and support we have received through this journey. I know I've said it before but THANK YOU all for all you have done. I look forward to seeing what God has in store for me next. Maybe we will write a book!!! There is so much I want to share and am still processing myself. I hope that in the next few months I can share with others just how awesome God has been - as I know you know that. I keep looking in the mirror and thinking here I am "God's modern day miracle" - When I get discouraged I just remember that "I am fearfully and wonderfully made" -the healing process is a miracle in itself. In that sense we really ALL are His miracles - He has made us so incredibly. To think I have a big ole hole in my head and my brains aren't leaking out :) Some of you may question that but it's the truth.

It's funny how the little things have come to mean so much. A quiet dinner, a ride to town, a friend's phone call, reading the Bible, journaling, visiting with family and friends - things I have taken for granted or crammed into a busy schedule. I hope and pray God will never let me forget the things I've gained from this experience. Maybe my scar will serve to remind me. (His nail scarred hands remind us of all we gained at His expense) Well, I feel like I am babbling so.... just remember how much you mean to me. We have copied the whole blog and I've saved every card and email and will enjoy going back through them all. Thanks again, precious ones. I love you. I'll be seeing you around. Love, Tracy Ann ;>)

I'm sure Jeff will have a farewell blog too so hang tight

just a little something

Hey guys - if I get started I will never stop so for now know that all is well in this little world of mine. thanks to those who have called, stopped by, brought dinner etc. It does help break up my day and every day I am getting stronger and back to my old self (oh no!!!) As soon as this eye starts to blinking I think I will be able to do a lot more. i am typing with my glasses on and a bandana over my right eye so I can focus -things are still blurry from the gel I put in my eye. I can't wait to see all of you. Thanks for being a part of this miracle with us. You are precious to us. Love, Tracy :)

A Little Surreal

Well... don't you think it is about time I get off my duff and let you know how brain surgery feels a week into it? This whole "ride" has been so surreal but I have felt such an amazing constance of God's prescence. A lot of things stand out in my mind the first being able to lay in the hallway for an hour or more, looking into the operating room being prepared for me and having an INCREDIBLE peace that passes understanding. I sure didn't make that up but it was so amazing to be so calm - God IS GOOD - the other thing I've been amazed at is when the doctors came into check on my responses time after time they would ask me to raise my arms then turn my palms upward. When it hit me they are putting me in position to praise my Lord- they told me I wouldn't be able to do that I was humbled. God was with me and even now in the days ahead when I push too hard or too little and get discouraged there He is in a phone call, soft touch, yummy meal etc. Thank you guys for all you're doing for us. We feel wrapped in His love. ( I'll entertain you with some brain surgery humor later but... am tuckering out. ) I love you so much. Tracy Ann

Waiting on God

"This is the day which the Lord has made; I WILL rejoice and be glad in it." Psalm 118:24 - Rejoicing gets harder as the day nears but... I WILL choose to rejoice even though I don't feel like it. A verse I am remembering is Proverbs 3:24 "When you lie down, you WILL NOT be afraid; when you lie down your sleep WILL be sweet." I don't like the thought of being stared at and not knowing what is going on for days while I sleep but I am clinging to God's promise that my sleep "WILL be sweet". :)

Thank you ALL again for the prayers, encouragement, cards, phone calls, prayer times, hugs, laughter and tears. I love the body of Christ - YOU are His hands and feet and it's really hard to imagine that He loves me more than I've been loved lately. I only hope and pray that you know how much I love you all too.

I am still waiting on the miracles of God to bowl us over - He's been doing that and He WILL continue as we walk this life together. He is FAITHFUL - He is AWESOME and miracles ARE happening. Thanks for finding them with me. I love you so much. Talk to you after my "sweet sleep".

Keeping You Posted

While I am out of commission Jeff will be updating the blog. Thankfully, the hospital has internet service for us so he can update the blog as we progress.

Thanks for hanging in there with us. I was so thankful to get to attend Easter services with my family (Chris and Rach are still home) - it's getting scary but I will keep looking to the One in Charge. Love, Tracy

Roller Coaster Ride

Well, I have been saying this time in my life is like a ride on a roller coaster and... I am seeing how appropriate the analogy is so... here I go blabbing on to you guys. On a roller coaster you get in and simply trust. You have NO CONTROL over where you go, how fast you go, or any part of the ride. The only thing you have control over is your emotions and mental state. You can complain, cry, scream but it only makes you miserable or you can just laugh and hang on tight.

Why even get on in the first place? Roller coasters are exhilarating, thrilling, terrifying, and have non-stop suspense. You never know what' s around the next bend. Well... I'm sure you can guess where I am going can't you? I've said I wouldn't trade this experience- sounds weird but the ride is thrilling and when I am terrified I just put my eyes back on the one who has ALL CONTROL and it's not me(fancy that)- praise the Lord. I would probably have it stop mid-ride and I would be left hanging upside down not knowing how to get off. You see, it is simple just sit back and trust the One in control and experience the thrills of life. Trust His promises, take Him at His Word - He is faithful!!!

One of the neatest, thrillingist, funest, :0) experiences I've had on this ride is at the "P.J. and Praise Party" my church sisters had for me on Thursday. What a blessing - we had wild, crazy fun coupled with tender moments that I will cherish always. Christ was in our midst (Matthew 18:20) and He was honored by the faithfulness of the ladies that orchestrated the evening. One of my favorite moments was taking the Lord's supper - it was Thursday evening before Good Friday - how appropriate that we remembered our Saviour in this way.

I want to say a HUGE THANK YOU to those who came and got crazy with me - they wore me out but it was a real good wearing out. I felt like I was in heaven - praising God with my sisters. My Dad heard us singing, from the other room, and said it sounded like angels singing. I have to believe there were angels singing with us!!! Another HUMONGOUS THANK YOU is for the gifts of love you gave me and my family - I was OVERWHELMED at the outpouring of your love. I have never had so many gifts and cards to open at once. I felt like it was such a representation of that wonderful verse in Ephesians 3:20-21 "Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly BEYOND all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to HIM be the glory IN THE CHURCH and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever." He did beyond what I could think or imagine for the evening through His Church-YOU, my sisters!! "Blessed be the Lord God, God of Israel, Who alone works wonders..." Psalm 72:1 What a wonder He worked!!!!

New Email Address

Hey guys - I have a new email address if you're interested. I will still use the old one for about a month or so. The new one is jtkamp@live.com .

We are counting down. Had a great weekend with wedding showers and a wonderful family dinner. My emotions are on the surface so... you never know what you'll get when you talk to me. :0) RANDOM!!! It can be fun but.... a little scary. I feel like Peter when he stepped out of the boat onto the water. When he looked around he went down (fast!!) but the second he looked back at Jesus things were okay again and I mean down to the second. I am realizing it IS a choice I have and it's a simple one but... it does take stepping out of the boat.

Jeff, Matt, and Bethany will go with me on the 26th for the preliminary tests - we are praying the doctors just won't find that sucker!! Then, that evening Jeff's mom and my parents will join us. Maybe I'll be checking out instead of in to the hospital. Wouldn't that just be amazing to see God show His glory before anyone touches me? !!!

Thanks again, mighty prayer warriors, you bless me beyond belief. Your faithfulness to pray for us leaves me speechless. I love you guys. Tracy

On the Downhill Side?

Well - post-op meetings went well. They sure asked a lot of questions and drew a lot of blood. One of the nurses said that now we are "on the downhill side" - I thought that was kinda funny since I haven't even had the surgery yet. Maybe she knows more than she is letting on - preparing may be the most exhausting part of all of this- wouldn't that be great?!! The director of anethesiology and his nurse were remarkably kind. He told me that brain surgery really doesn't hurt as bad as other things will and explained that since the brain isn't a part of the body that moves- it doesn't hurt as much as another part would that moves with daily activity. That's good news but... I wanted to ask him if he had ever had brain surgery. Didn't think that would be appropriate but... it is a valid question. I am going to take these guys at their word and hope and pray for the best. Of course, I am still praying for divine healing (pre-surgery would be awesome). If God chooses to heal me through surgery then I like where I will be. They are very compassionate people.

I was happy to learn that we can get internet in the hospital too so... I can keep on checking in with everyone ( when I am not sleeping!!) All the activity to prepare IS exhausting so I am looking on this as a vacation. :0) You wouldn't believe how manic you become when you know you'll be out of commission awhile - cleaning out the fridge and oven(in case someone looks in there), getting gifts and cards for upcoming birthdays etc., buying everything you can in bulk (problem is my family keeps using stuff up before surgery), and any other crazy thing you can think of. I DO need a vacation - from my craziness!!

I get to go to two wedding showers this weekend for my beautiful daughter-in-law to be, Rachael. It will be so much fun being a part of the celebration. I am thankful to God for His timing. I haven't missed anything - I get to celebrate Easter right before going into the hospital too - Now think on the significance of that will you? What glorious hope!! Man, God is GOOD!! Thanks for hanging out with me for awhile. Love you guys!!

Latest Update

We had a really neat prayer service last night. It blessed me so much. Thursday of this week (3/13) we go to Houston for post-op meetings and to give blood. Just wanted to let you know what is going on. :0)

Just Checking In

Good morning friends -thanks for keeping us in your prayers - we really feel it! Gave blood this week and it wiped me out for awhile but I am feeling great this morning. I have a whole new perspective on Christ giving His blood on the cross but... I will save the sermon for later. Hey I am reading some great books if you are interested. "Heaven" by Randy Alcorn is really neat and "Divine Healing" by Andrew Murray is very thought-provoking. God has been challenging the limitations my mind has put on Him. Just wanted to check in with those who are keeping up with this "nail-biting" ;0) blog. This has been one of the most rewarding times of my life - growing closer to my Lord, reconnecting with old friends, and growing closer to friends and family. Thanks be unto our Lord.

Hey - another awesome bit of media is a DVD by Louis Giglio called "How Great is our God" - it will just blow you away - I promise!! ( See I am having a "vacation" of sorts)

FYI- We go on the 13th to finalize plans for hospital and give more blood. Thanks for standing beside us. I love you guys. Tracy

It's No Secret

Hey guys - I just have to let you in on one of the "mysteries" of Christ" (Ephesians 3:4) - Some have said that they are amazed at my strength or whatever and though I appreciate their kindness I HAVE to tell you it is really NOT me. Those of you that know me well KNOW that for a fact. My nature is to worry, fret, take charge but... I am a new creature in Christ
(2 Corinthians 5:17 NAS) "Therefore if ANYONE is IN Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold new things have come." You see the word ANYONE - that's all of us!!! I heard recently that we should pay attention to the prepositions in the Bible - see the word IN Christ - it's not in ourselves - praise be to God we can be new IN HIM!! I am awed and amazed at what He can do and is doing in this stubborn, self-centered OLD gal - He is making me NEW.

In Philiappian 4:6-7 it says, " Be anxious for NOTHING, but in EVERYTHING by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace OF GOD which surpasses ALL comprehension WILL guard your hearts and your minds IN Christ Jesus." Wow upon Wow - I don't have to worry at all - He is my peace. Oh, friend of mine do you know that peace? I long for you to know it too. Call upon our God, our Saviour, our Friend and He will save you. He will be your peace too. Romans 10:11 and 13 " For the Scripture says, WHOEVER believes in Him will not be disappointed," and "WHOEVER will call upon the name of the Lord WILL be saved."

Thank you, dear saints that are praying for me and my family. We feel it in the peace of God. You are so faithful and you are being used by God to teach us how to love and pray. You are the biggest blessing He has given us after the blessing of Himself. We love you so, so much. Thanks for letting me "preach" awhile. My "cup runs over"!!

Ephesians 3:20-21 (NAS)

"Now to Him who is able to do FAR MORE ABUNDANTLY BEYOND all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to HIM be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. AMEN!!" Ephesians 3:20-21

OKAY- HERE IT IS

Well... we heard and the surgery is scheduled for MARCH 27th - I will go in on the 26th for some pre-surgery procedures. We were really hoping it would be sooner but I can already see the benefits of it being later - I have time to buff up my body :), will get to see Chris and Rach on Spring Break, will be able to go to Rachael's showers, will be home for Matthew's and Mom's birthdays, spend spring break with Bethany and so... I guess it's more of the waiting game. I do have to go in and do some pre-op stuff and still have people I need to contact like the radiologist etc. So... please continue to keep us in your prayers as we wait. Pray that we won't give in to the spirit of discouragement -after all God is still in control and He is not bound by time - thanks for caring.

You Can't Outgive God

God is so good - you know that too don't you? He just continues to amaze me -He has shown us the "incomparable riches of His grace, expressed in His kindness to us in Christ Jesus." (Eph. 2:7)- He has orchestrated so much so as we wait for Him we won't" grow weary." No news on a date - hoping to hear today. We have gotten the green light from the hospital and are amazed at how smoothly and abundantly God has made that path. Also, had some major answers to prayers in other areas of daily needs. Thank you, prayer warriors. I know God is hearing you and honoring your faithfulness. I will let you all know as soon as we do on the date. Thanks for caring so much. We are blessed to call you our family and friends. Love, Tracy

Making Headway

Well, one thing I've learned is you don't rush down to the local Wal-mart and get yourself a "brain surgery"!!! I didn't realize how much time it takes and how many people will be involved before this is all said and done. This week we have seen and/or talked to 5 different doctor's offices and talked with a counselor at the hospital. For those of you who know me well you can imagine how much I have enjoyed being on the phone or driving to Houston most of the week. I have a new respect for all the different roles people play to help us get good medical care. I imagine they deal with stressful situations and difficult people most of the week. There have been some really helpful, kind-hearted people along the way.

Anyway, to cut to the chase, still no date but we are getting close. We are waiting on the okay from the heart doctor (to determine if I have the heart for this surgery :) We expect I will get a green light from him some time mid-week. Next, we are waiting on the hospital to say okay bring her in. Lots of paperwork etc. there also. I hope to hear from them mid-week too. After that, I am assured a date will be set so... sometime next week I will post the date for all of you who are following this riviting story. Never thought I'd have my name in writing for all to see but stranger things have happened. ;)

Just want to say thanks again for all of you incredible, supportive people. I have had a foretaste of heaven in the fellowship, prayers, etc. I can't wait until we can all be together in that glorious place but... for now know that I love you all more and more every day.

The Latest

Today I heard back from the hospital's office. We are still working out details but no date set yet - really glad to talk to a person today not just leave a voice mail. When I was getting discouraged that the time is dragging on someone reminded me that God's timing is perfect. I keep forgetting He is in charge of all this. Thanks for the reminders of His love and care. We'll let you know more first of next week (hopefully)

Don't Get Me Wrong

Thought I would update those that are reading this - no date for surgery yet - trying to work out logistics of it all - long, complicated process. Just wanted to let you know that even though I have "the faith of a mustard seed"(so it seems) at times I am just plain overwhelmed and exhausted by all of this. But... then I am reminded that I am under God's wing of protection (Psalm 36:7"How priceless is your unfailing love! Both high and low among men find refuge in the shadow of your wings.") I also remember that "When I am afraid, I will trust in you." Ps.56:3 - Yes, I have fears - lots of them but "He hasn't given me the spirit of fear but of power, love, and a sound mind." - Thank the Lord for all the ones who encourged me to memorize scripture because His word is "alive and active". Just wanted to thank you guys again for the encouragement - especially reminding me of His word - Hebrews4:16 says, "Let us then approach the throne of grace WITH CONFIDENCE, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." I am His daughter and I will be confident in Him. Thanks for constantly reminding me of this truth. Pray with me for the doctors, hospital and others that they may see and know the Living God that we serve - He is Mighty to deliver.

Here's a Hug

I want to say thanks to all the incredible people who are ministering to us at this time(in prayer,words of encouragement, offers of help etc.)- my heart overflows with gratitude. As I think about how my body will have to "learn" to function for the parts that won't work so well after surgery I have realized that it is a neat illustration for the way the body of Christ works. You guys are showing me how the body of believers were meant to function - thanks for giving me a living example of Christ here on earth. My "cup overflows" - I love you - consider yourselves hugged. :)